Dying Has No Explanation
by Hi I'm Cold
Summary: SPOILERS FOR X3! I've started writing again...... YAY!Jean's found her way home, but is this the home she wants
1. My Pain

**_A/N:_** Sorry, to the people who loved the 3rd movie. I loved bits, but the end was cheap and they were lazy with it. Soooooooooo, probably like many other people I'm writing my own ending cause I hate theirs, she dies how can she die. She died in the last one. They just end where they began, they all should die now, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die!

Cause if Jean can't live, none of them should die, die, DIE, DIE! All of YOU DIE!

Yes, I'm very mad about this.

**_2. A/N_**: I'm sorry but I may be half using other peoples ideas as well, I'm truly sorry, but it may have just been a dream I had.

**Title**: _Dying Has No Explanation_

_**Explanations/Prologue **_

I've made up my mind. I've got to kill her, it was her request, I guess, to die. I was just too much of a wimp to comply. I walk up the steps, she staring at me, I can feel her eyes seeing right through my skin, my mind and my emotions. Her eyes, I can see the old Jean in them, she's pleading. Oh, my god. She wants me to kill her here and now. I scream out her name, she response "Please," she replies. I'm in front of her now, I release my claws. I can see the revelation in her face, the split personality is horrified. I plunge my claws within her slender form. She gasps, I can see the old Jean coming back, she's…. happy. She looks content, she whispers in my ear "I've got one last thing I've got to do before I die, again,"

She withdraws herself from my claws, extends her arms and commands the forces around her. The heavens split open and a whirlwind of colour comes forth. It's beginning to create something, two beings. They're beginning to take shape.

They're humans ….. Oh, my, ones Scott, which means the other has to be the professor. I'm right the professor and Scott stand together. The Professor can stand, he looks surprised, Scott looks happy at the sight of Jean. But then he sees the stab marks. He glares at Logan, but he ain't looking over. Jean falters, her arms begin to droop, she collapses in a heap, Logan runs over and looks her in the face, checks her vitals, then clings to her body. She's gone…again. Scott runs over, he looks at Jean's battered body, his face is indescribable. His torment has only begun.


	2. My Turnover

_**Chapter 1**_

Life at the mansion was quiet again, the professor was having to get used to walking again. He'll always thank her for that. Logan was secluded, Scott no longer acknowledges his presence, Storm was to busy bringing thing back together, and Bobby and Rogue. Well, you can just guess what they were doing. Scott, well you could just imagine how he was taking Jean's second death. He no longer let anyone talk to him, and he didn't talk to any one but the professor and Storm.

Jean's family were taking care of Jean's funeral wishes. She wanted to be cremated and her remains sent to blow in the wind, over the ocean. In two days from now, all the students and the teachers were going to an ocean cliff for Jean's funeral and then her wake.

Logan got up on the morning of the funeral feeling lost, he knew she was gone, but considering the past. There may always be a chance she will come back.

He leaned over in his bed, to look out the window. Another grey day, he'd been meaning to talk to Storm about that. He was pretty sure it was her mood swing that caused the sudden miserable weather. He wished he could to something like that take all you frustrations, sadness and grief out in one way or another. But all he could do was destroy stuff, and that was the last thing the professor needed, another destroyed room. Logan got up, he got dressed, and decided that he would go down to the danger room to try and vent some of his anger.

His trip downstairs was slow and solemn, no one said hello anymore for the fear of maybe loosing a hand. He ran a simple 'fight the bad guy' simulation. He won every time of course, with his healing abilities and sharp claws, what simulation was going to get in his way. The simulation restarted. He remember a previous conversation he had had with Jean, just before her first death.

"Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, Logan. But don't take him home, and marry the good guy,"

"I could be the good guy," was his reply.

Logan couldn't believe he'd said that to her at the moment. Had he'd known she was going to die, he may have asked a lot more of her, or at least ask her to explain herself. But life's cruel, always slipping that comfortable mat your standing on out from underneath you feet.

Logan was becoming sick of this simulation, he turned it off and went upstairs to have a shower.

------------

Jean opened her eyes to the painful world of white light. She squinted at the harsh white lights. She tried to clear her head, but the world seemed to like her suffering. Her mind was worse than Saturday morning football, nothing was in order and nothing made any sense. She turned her head to survey the world around her, she sitting in a white room. She felt that the room held many memories, but she couldn't recall any. The few furnishings that were scattered across the room were a tiny desk, an chair, a fairly empty book case and a bed. Jean thought that this place looked more like a prison then anything else, for there were no cooking facilities, no bathroom and no connection to the outside world.


	3. My Annoyance

Chapter 2 

After his long and degrading shower Logan went down to the kitchen to grab some food. He was met by rogue or Marie as she liked to be called. She was sitting at the island bench in the middle of the kitchen with an Asian microwave dish. Logan thought it was a nice gesture of the Professor to allow Marie to stay at the mansion. He knew she was beginning to feel the weight of her decision now, she felt a little left out. They others were all down in the danger room doing training simulations.

Logan startled the girl when he walked in , she was off in her own thoughts.

"Hi," was his only reaction when he saw her.

"Hey," was all she could stifle out.

Logan turned to the fridge, he'd learned to make sure there was always some soda in the fridge. He reached out opened the door, grabbed the lonesome soda and turned back to Marie.

"Alone again for Christmas? Huh?" Logan asked leaning on the kitchen bench.

Marie turned her perplexed face towards Logan.

"You seriously look down, darl'," Logan adds in response to her face.

"Yeah, well. They're all having fun by themselves," she replied gesturing down the hall.

"Ah, feeling left out are we now?" Logan asked.

"It's my own fault. But I can at least now have human interaction. I've missed being able to feel other peoples skin, and friendly gesture, a lover's touch," she explains in a slight whisper.

"I understand," Logan replied remembering his few special moments with Jean, there had been a couple of other special women in his life, but none like Jean. She seemed to understand every layer of him, he felt his love for her through every atom in his body.

She still wasn't coming back though.

"hey, why don't ya do something on your own? Go out and do something that normal teenagers do?" Logan suggested.

"I guess I could. But I wouldn't know how to act, what to say. To the other kids my age," Marie replied.

"You never learn, if you don't try," Logan stated.

"Jump in the deep end and you'll learn how to swim to shore quicker,"

Marie looked up from her dinner. Her face alight with hope.

"Your right. I don't need to wait around here for them to finish their fun I'm going to go and find my own fun," she stood up triumphantly and began to walk out the door.

"I suggest you put you dishes away first," Logan pointed out.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," She put the dishes away then walked out the door.

"Well, that's my good deed for the day,"

------------

Jean noticed that this world was cold, she felt that it didn't forget and it wouldn't forgive. She noticed the waves in the mist outside the window, the mixture of purples, dark blues and black with the occasional flash of red.

She felt alone, she couldn't sense any other consciousnesses. She felt true alone with her thoughts.

Jean sat on the bed reading 'The Ticking Tenure Clock' from the small bookcase in the corner.

Jean's mind was barely on the book she was really just waiting and the book gave her eyes something to look at other than that depressing sky.

She threw the book at the wall, it hit the wall and bounce to the floor closed. She sat with her knees to her chest and her back against the wall.

"Becoming frustrated are we?" a voice said from the outside, she thought she'd heard this voice before. But that was in her head.

"I just wanted you to feel the way I felt for over 10 years. You don't know what it's like being caged with a persons mind."

Jean now had an idea of who this was, she believed this was the Phoenix talking to her.

"What do you want?" she screamed to the darkness.

"You're here to amuse me," the Phoenix replied.

The wall opposite Jean began to look un solid it looked like water that was stretched out too far. A being began to pass through the wall, this being was coated in red, it was the Phoenix. Jean saw her other personalty that looked exactly like her, beside the piercing look in it's eyes.

A/N: look people I still need your votes cause I haven't started that part of the story yet so please keep voting.

Yes, I'm going to keep on bugging you to vote.

1.Who should be in control

A. should Jean be in control of her power and body and the phoenix just emerge occasionally

B. should the Phoenix be in control and Jean will emerge occasionally

2. Where they should reappear

A. should Jean/Phoenix reappear in an unknown land and they have no idea who they are

B. should Jean/phoenix reappear near where they died or near an important place in their past but still have no idea who they are

should they just come back to the mansion

if you have any other ideas just put them in your reviews.

As well as it might take some time before the next Chapter comes up, cause I've got lots of school work to do at the moment.

Thx for the reviews people and stay happy anf healthy.

Bye


	4. My Past

_**Chapter 3**_

Storm left the danger room feeling exhausted and slightly flustered, it was the first session the Professor had gone into in a long time, he certainly was happy to be able to walk and jump. He had said to her that he was greatly impressed with the performance by the whole team and said that if ever they have another emergency, he would be proud to send the whole team out.

She thought he seem a little unhappy about the fact that Logan wouldn't come to join them, though she guessed that Logan was intentionally avoiding human contacting, she felt it was because he knew he was the reason Jean died, he was the one who had the responsibility of the terrible deed.

She walked her way through the underground level and worked her way to the first floor, wandering through the many corridors that were shuffling with kids. The students at the school weren't feeling the pain of Dr. Jean Grey's passing again as severely as before, for many of them didn't even know that Jean had been alive again and most were happy because the Professor was back.

Storm knew that Scott didn't want to talk, but she had to talk to some one and she wasn't going to talk to Logan, at the moment she felt that she was always at odds with him.

She found the door that lead to Scott's room, she opened the door to find the room was swallowed by darkness. Scott was sitting below the window with his back to the wall and his face towards the floor.

Storm walked in calmly she walked over to the window above Scott's head and pulled back the curtains, Scott bolted upright, he faced Storm with a look of distain.

"I don't want to talk," was Scott's only words has he walked to the bed and sat on the very edge, as if he was ready to fall off the face of the earth.

"No, I want too," Storm replied sitting on the floor before him.

Scott turned away from her.

"Scott please, I need some one to listen too me," Storm pleaded.

"Talk to the Professor then," he replied not looking any where near her.

"I want some to listen and to have an opinion not a solution," she replied, placing her hand on his knee.

"And, I know you need some one to talk too. You just won't admit it," she stated.

Storm noticed that he didn't respond, so she took that as an ok. She understood his actions, she knew he didn't want to talk, but she knew that he desperately needed to. For after Jean's first death they had given him some space to mourn, but when she died again, they had expected him to be ready for the onslaught of feelings, yet he seemed to be worse than before.

"Scott, I know you miss Jean, but there's nothing any of us can do. Or could of done," she said softly.

"He didn't have to kill her," he breathed.

Storm turned at the comment, she knew who he was talking about and she personally didn't feel that Logan had done anything bad, yes he had sacrificed Jean, but it was for there survival.

"Jean was obviously still in there some where, otherwise why did the Professor and myself reappear," he asked himself.

"I don't know Scott, I don't know," Storm replied, she felt that maybe it was a little too soon to talk to him about Jean's death. So she decided that she would stay there for emotional support.

------------

Jean had known that the Phoenix that had been captive in her body for so long, had a significant power, but she knew that she had died, how can she and her split personality be 'alive' in this physic limbo. At least she knew she could protect herself from this, the Professor had explained a lot to her when she was younger about her powers and her split personality Phoenix.

He had explained to her that she had a lot of power and that when she was younger, she had all the power but she didn't have the urge or the need to use it, there for she has never used all of her power, he also explained that he was scared that if she ever did utilize all of her power that she would not be able to control it, so he had put up the mental blocks so that once she had gained an amount of control she could release on of these blocks and take her time in controlling her power.

And in those explanations she learned that it wasn't the phoenix that had all the power, but the Phoenix was the only one that wanted to use all of their power.

"I'm not afraid of you," Jean shouted at the fashioned Phoenix in front of her.

"Oh, I doubt that. At least, you may not be frightened of me now, but soon. I will make you afraid," Phoenix threatened.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try," Jean shouted back.

"You'll see, oh, you'll see," the Phoenix replied disappearing.

Jean sat done again, she knew she had to get out of here. This world was too weird, her life on earth was perfect, she wanted to go back. She didn't want to be a captive prisoner any more, she wanted freedom, air and a chance to see the people she loved.

Jean curled up in a ball on the bed, tucking her knees under her head, and cried herself to sleep.

**_A/N: _**Now, peoplez, I've closed the other vote/pole thing now. I have a request to make. If you want me to do some kind of ship please review and mention it in your review and I will tally the responses, I can't guarantee a ship and all but, I really don't mind who Jean is with as long as she is alive.

Now, I have come up with a new idea for the Jean/Phoenix problem with who is in control. And I think your going to love it. At least I hope your going to love it.

Well thx for the wonderful reviews and I hope you all will still R & R.

Bye from Cate, Grommit, Trinity, Lil' One, Smartie

Love you all

thx


	5. My Failing Heart

**_A/N:_** Now for all you Jean fans this chapter is for you, it's mainly Jean, now don't ask me where this idea came from, for at the moment it's 12:31 am in the morning and this chapter just started cause I didn't want Jean in the white room any more so, she's not in the white room any more. Ohhhhhhhh, and people who loved the movie, I'm trying to find one of the posters they had at the movies that was a material one that was huge and it had Jean Grey on it and it was wonderful, and I'm gonna die if I don't get it, so now I've got to ring Waverly Gardens Cinema to see if I can grab or buy it off them.

It's sssoooooo cool!

Ummmmm, I hope you like this chapter, sorry if the story is taking an unknown turn but, I was getting bored with some idea I had for this so I had another one.

But don't worry your votes still count.

Thx, Bye

Chapter 4

Jean woke up to find the room had disappeared, and that she was lying on the rocks that surrounded Alkali Lake. She stood up slowly to take in her surroundings, it was obviously Alkali Lake, but she wasn't sure why she was here. She started walking around the lake, it hadn't changed much, it was still blue and it still contained water.

Jean heard the distant sound of a motorbike engine, she could feel the presence of Scott, but she could connect with him like she used to.

She saw the movement of his bike out of the corner of her eye, she turned to see him, she noticed his unshaven face, his ragged look and the over all feel of a worn person. He hopped off the bike and walked towards the water's edge. She looked at him and she was astounded that he didn't turn when he saw her, therefore she concluded that he couldn't see her.

He walked up a rock head that ran into the water, Jean noticed that he look troubled, confused and slightly angry.

His face strained in pain and he yelled, fell on his knees, ripped off his glasses and disrupted the water with his optic blasts.

He closed his eyes and put his glasses back on and searched the waters surface for any movement, he noticed a couple of ripples coming from the middle of the lake, they grew until there was a hurricane of water within the lake, an sudden light erupted from the eye of the storm, and both Jean and Scott, shielded their eyes.

The storm calmed down and the source of the light rose and landed on the raised rock where Scott was.

Scott stood up, his face amazed, he had no idea what had happened but he was shocked to the core.

He stood open mouthed at the woman before him, she had long rich red hair, high check bones and bright, intelligent green eyes.

"Jean?" he whispered her name in disbelieve.

"Scott?" she replied dubiously.

He couldn't reply, he just hugged her, squeezed her just to make sure she was real.

The Jean that was standing over 20 feet away was astonished, she had no idea what was going on. She believed this was trick, conjured by the Phoenix to toy with her mind. Yet she felt there was some truth in what she was seeing.

She knew that she and the Phoenix had come back at some point but she had no idea when or where that had occurred. And she felt that this, was the Phoenix recollection of what had happened when the had appeared.

She could see that the Phoenix had coaxed Scott into taking his glasses off, Jean ran forward to see what was happening she wanted to see his eyes. The Phoenix looked directly into Scott's eyes and she controlled his power, Jean could see the blue of Scott's eyes, she almost cried. She had never seen his eyes before, for ever since she had known him he had been a mutant with his optic blasting power.

He kissed the Phoenix, Jean was ashamed that he could be fooled by the Phoenix, Logan wasn't fooled, well after a while he noticed a difference, but Scott he had been with her for, sometimes it seemed like, forever. She saw the change in the Phoenix's eyes, the lust for power she had, Scott was starting to deteriorate, his flesh was leaving his body, pieces of himself were going everywhere. Scott pulled away from Phoenix and she just stared at him, she knew he couldn't go anywhere.

His eyes were clouded with confusion, Jean could see the betrayal in his eyes, though she felt he almost welcomed death.

Jean screamed seeing her love die before her eyes, she fell from lack of brain function and air, she couldn't breath all she could so was scream and cry, she couldn't feel anything other than the ripping feeling of her throat as she tried to breath.

Her eyes were sore and her body tired from all her crying, she could believe that she may have started her own lake of tears, her head hurt from the lack of water and air, she breathed in the air, feeling life suddenly without Scott. It tasted different she noted, the air seemed frozen, cold and young. It was no longer a comfort. It was a harsh necessity.

Jean turned her back on the world, she turned away from the water and faced the forest she welcomed it's darkness, the cold, hard trees. And she began to walk, she didn't stop until she found herself back in the white room. She had no recollection of arriving here again, but she threw herself onto the bed and wept a river of tears for Scott.

------------

The Professor looked out his bedroom window, wondering what may be happening out in the world today, he would never of guessed a elicit fight happening between one of his old students and her split personality, for himself, like everyone else, believed Jean Grey to be truly dead this time. He leaned into his chair, remembering the days where he couldn't even walk, he will forever remember Jean as the one who always thought about others, even in her dying minutes.

He got up to go check on the school library, no one went in there any more for it had always been classed as Jean territory. And after she died no one felt they were worthy enough to enter, other than Scott, but he had to many memories from those rooms, that he was trying to suppress.

He walked out into the hallway, went down the stairs (which he is now able to do) and arrived at the main doors to the school library. He manually pushed the doors open and found the room in perfect condition. All the books were neatly away, none were askew on the tables or desks, no rubbish was on the floor. Not even a chair was misplaced. He found this rather odd, but decided that Jean may have cleaned up just before she had died the first time.

He closed the doors again, when he heard the faint humming of a song, he vaguely remembered the song it was one of those one hit wonders you have, but it was a very old one.

He suddenly remembered it was the song 'The Piano Man' that was being hummed. The humming was coming through the thick library doors, so he opened them again, and stood in the door way. He noticed the humming was coming from the fiction area, he walked over and scanned the area for any kind of living creature, but couldn't find any. So he did a manual search, looking up and down each row.

And in the second aisle he found the source of the sound, but it wasn't a living being it was the imprint of a young Jean, looking through the Charles Dickens books in the Library humming 'The Piano Man'. The Professor just stared at the faint imprint of this young Jean look at the book in her hand, skim through the pages and then move onto the next one where she would do the same. Charles stood and

waited until the imprint left, he was amazed anything like that would happen in the mansion. It may be a school for mutants, but a haunted house too, he felt there was too much of a coincident there.

------------

'Now I lay me down to sleep,

Pray the lord, my soul to keep,

If I die before I wake,

Pray the lord, my soul to take.'

Childs night time prayer

A/N: Don't ask me why I wrote the prayer there but it's now 1:46 am and I'm beginning to feel tired and I wrote this very long chapter. It could have been longer but, it also could have been shorter. Originally it was going to be a Jean centred story only but then I remembered that I usually have to centre people in my chapters soo, I wrote an extra 300 words for the Professor.

Yes people, I'm writing real chapters again.

Thx People.

Please R&R.

Love you all. And please make sure you guys all get enough sleep cause I sure ain't.


	6. My Reincarnation

**_A/N:_** I'm back (Not that I went away, but I will be at the end of june, so you might have to go for a week and a bit without story, buy hopefully once I get back I'll have a really long story for you, YAY!)

I know this is stupid of me to ask, but can someone give me an idea on how I can quicken the pace of this story (besides Jean coming back, because I know when I'm going to do that and it shouldn't be too soon) please, I need an event to move the story forward.

Thx if you can give me some answers.

By the way for those who want to know more about 'Love a form of insanity should know that I am working on it, but unfortunately it's coming along slowly.

**Chapter 5**

Scott turned down the hallway, he needed fresh air. He felt sick, he was sure he was coming down with something, he ha a fever and a migraine. He found the front door, and walked through, today was Jean funeral, the world seemed to be smiling at him, he felt really down. He walked towards the open grass area, there was a slow breeze through the mansion grounds today. Scott breathed in the smell of young, growing trees, he knew Jean was gone but he'd never get used to the absence of her mind in his.

Scott just sat down in the middle of the field, he felt like he was five years old again and had runaway because his hamster died, Jean was a lot more than a hamster though, she was the backbone of his sanity.

Logan walked out the front door, he saw Scott and yelled "Hey Scott, you coming?" Scott looked up at his name, he nodded. Logan nodded back, turned towards the garage and continued walking.

Scott stood up slowly, he enjoyed the manner this day had taken, he would of loved to just sit out here all day, but he knew that was impossible.

Scott walked towards his car, his entire drive to the funeral was in silence for no one else was in his car. Once he got to the funeral he was shooed to the front of the procession, he sat in the front row when every one was giving their speeches, even the Professor and Storm went up. Neither of Logan or Scott went up to say any thing, after all the speeches were finished, everyone went up the front to say their goodbyes. Scott just stared at her cold face, the perfected hand structure she had, the way he eyes were just perfect for her cheekbones, they way her nose fitted In with her ears.

He was nudged by Storm, she was gesturing for him to continue moving, Scott looked down at Jean once more, then turned and continued down the line of mourners receiving apologies from all of them, he didn't hear their words, but felt them. They were like a soft mallet hitting his heart whispering 'she's gone. You all know she's gone'. Scott turned away from everyone, he walked outside into the dull sun, he could feel the sun's rays, yet the air felt cold. He walked through the cemetery , the feeling of death, strangely , comforted him, the fact that he would join Jean one day made him feel calm. He didn't exactly wish for the day to come, but he didn't curse the day either.

Logan walked outside, his faced shadowed, he looked stretched, like he was trying to cook a meal whilst writing a transcript. Logan slowly walked over to Scott, Logan couldn't look Scott directly in the eye.

"I'm sorry," Logan whispered. Patting Scott on the shoulder, he turned and left. Scott stared at his shrinking form, he could feel the anger growing within him. His brain could hardly hold everything back, so he sprung a leak. 'Yeah, well. You should be!" Scott yelled at Logan. He felt the thoughts and emotions escape his body, like a ruptured dam.

Scott knew he was jealous of Logan. Logan had been alive when Jean was back, Scott knew something had happened between them, for when Logan was killing Jean he had seen the look in her eyes. she was thanking Logan from the bottom of her heart. Scott remembered that Jean only briefly looked at him, whenever he thought of that memory he felt his heart drop into his stomach. He only wanted to know if she had loved him as much as he had loved her.

Scott looked at the horizon, he felt like walking among the graves and the memories.

His body took him where his brain could not.

------------

Jean felt like flying into the sun, she knew it would be insane to do it, but she thought it might be fun. Jean was slightly bored, she knew that the Phoenix was coming for another visit, for she could feel the Phoenix's power growing within the air. She turned to the window, the outside mist had calmed down. The Phoenix re-emerged in the white room.

"Hello Jean," the Phoenix cooed.

"Hi," Jean replied coldly.

"Hmmm, well. I know that you saw one of my memories?" the Phoenix questioned.

"Yes," Jean stated, perplexed.

"Well, as you know the Professor and Scott are alive, because you brought them back to life. Using our power, I might add," Jean turned away from the Phoenix, she was being taunted by a part of herself.

'I did what I had to do," Jean stated trying to convince herself along with the Phoenix.

Jean noticed that silence had filled the room, Jean turned to face the Phoenix, she was lost in her own thoughts.

Realisation had crossed the Phoenix's face just before she turned and left.

Jean knew she was going to be alone for a while.

------------

Jean's casket was closed once everyone had left the service. The funeral workers took the casket to the cremated area and left it in the capable hands of Kenny Johnson. Kenny was a pyromaniac, and though he was often feared he didn't try to harm people with fire, he just like the fact that it could destroy almost anything.

Kenny had Jean's casket in the furnace. He turned it on and prayed for Jean's soul. He watched as her casket and body burned, he felt sorry for the girl, as she looked fairly young. He noticed that the flames were dancing around a lot, and they were higher than they usually, he walked over to the window of the furnace, he was careful not to touch the glass. He thought he could see the faint outline of a person in the flames, he thought it must have been a trick of the lights, that was before the face of the outline turned to face him.

The flaming being sat up, it walked straight out of the furnace, without opening the door or any thing. Kenny feared for his life, but unfortunately his curiosity got the best of him.

"Umm, who are you?" he stuttered out.

"I am the Phoenix," it said as she faced Kenny. The flaming being brought her arms above her head and began to concentrate, Kenny could see that she was building herself a body.

Once she was finished he saw that she looked exactly like the woman lying in the furnace. He crammed his body into the closest corner just trying to get away from this being.

This sudden movement caught the Phoenix's eye and she turned and walked towards him, Kenny keep on backing himself into the corner. The Phoenix had a look of glee on her face, she reached out with her mind and disconnected all of Kenny's atoms making him into nothing.

The Phoenix, happy with her work, turned to walk out the door. Then she remembered that Jean was still in the furnace, she went to have a look. Everything that was in the furnace was destroyed, even the Phoenix knew that it was hard to come back to life when your body no longer exists. She wasn't worried, so she left.

A/N: Hey, I'm working really hard to keep up all this work when I've got three projects due in tomorrow and I'm only half way through all of them. But I like writing so, stuff 'em.

Thx please R&R

Next chapter is when Jean comes back, but it might take a while to get it written.


	7. My Carnage

Chapter 6 

The morning started off chilly, but as the sun battle it out with the clouds fighting for it's chance to shine, a pack of seagulls fought for food among the scraps left by early fishermen. Pete a particularly young seagull was having difficulty forcing his way through the crowd of birds.

These fights that happened on Eastchester Bay were normal for a September sunrise, but today's arguments were impassioned far beyond the past quarrels, by the presence of an angry god. This god sat on the rocks behind the squabbling gulls, she sat like a broken man bent against the frozen winds. She couldn't feel the wind lash at her face or the water lap across her feet. She didn't know why she felt dead, she had no life force, no will to stand against formality.

Two young runners paced their way down the bay side path. They noticed the woman sitting in red upon the rocks. They were curious about her, for she was wearing odd clothes for a cold morning and she seemed not to notice the progressing conflict happening in her presence. They climbed down the rock face, they noticed that the woman had acknowledge their presence by turning in their direction when they came into her view.

Phoenix could feel their fear reeling off them, like a bad smell, she was repulsed by it. She stared at them, she knew that they both feared for their sanity, and more, their lives.

Phoenix realised that these two could be her salvation.

She needed a will, so she'd take a one, or two.

Phoenix stood up, picked up her hands from her sides, splayed out her fingers and used her full power against these good souls.

She could feel the happiness from their souls empty into her own black psyche, this was the life force that she needed, the will she wished she could have.

Their bodies deterioted before her eyes, she saw the flesh, then the muscles and the last thing to go, the bones.

The only proof that two people may have ever stood there was the footprints in the sand.

Phoenix felt better than she had in days, after capturing Jean's essence in a psyche limbo it had tired her to show Jean her memory of her reincarnation.

Phoenix noticed that a second dead fish had found it's way to the shore, she knew that the seagulls would soon go after it, she also knew that the youngest one, Pete, had not yet eaten anything.

The Phoenix felt slightly generous, so she gave Pete some extra confidence he needed to force his way through the quarrelling. Pete attacked the other seagulls to get to the new feast. Phoenix was pleased with her work, she believed that she had helped a withdrawn being, but all she really had done was make a murderer.

**A/N: **Now, I'm very angry with all the people who haven't reviewed. Now I know you yelled at me last time, because I yelled at you for not reviewing, but there was only one person that reviewed for 10 days and that was germansheperdfan and I thank you very much. Now people I need at least one review to write another chapter. Luckily for you I was in a very happy mood and wrote an extra long chapter that's actually becoming 2. So review or else you get nothing.

Thx


	8. My Salvation

**Chapter 7**

Jean woke to the song of a small crimson bird, it was trapped in the white room like herself. She had no idea how it got in there, it just appeared while she was sleeping. It was red with a tinge of orange on it's wings and belly. It sang a repetitive tune, with it's soft voice. Jean found that it was a cheerful little creature, with a big heart of unconditional love.

While she was keeping the bird company, she noticed a crack on the wall in the corner, she picked herself up off her bed, and inquisitively study the crack in the wall. It went right form the floor all the way to the roof.

Jean used physical strength against the sturdy wall, but he weak body didn't budge the wall an inch. So Jean decided to go with her strength, she thought about the wall, and then thought about it disappearing. To the crimson bird's delight the wall broke apart and vanished. Jean didn't have time to look at her work, for she was pulled by some invisible vortex out of the white room and into the mist. The crimson bird was thrashing about with her against this unbeatable foe, Jean reached out to calm it. The moment her fingers touched the ruby red feathers her body was struck by something, it felt electrical. Jean was sure that she was dieing all over again. She closed her eyes to deal with the pain and when she opened them she was flying over the ocean, she looked at her body.

She was non-existent she had no physical body, yet she could feel her arms and her legs, the wind across her back as she flew, but she didn't understand how. She sent out her power to call her body to her, she saw little particles of dust coming towards her, they were beginning to collect in groups, and form limbs, and torso. She had no idea how she did it, but she was building herself a body from virtually nothing.

What Jean didn't know was that what she thought was dust was in fact her remains after they had been cremated. The x-men had come to the cliff to release Jean's remains over the oceans. They wore all black, some had their faced covered, and all were covered in shadow.

The Professor looked to the sky to say a kind farewell, when his gratitude got stuck in his throat. A huge fiery bird shape was flying in the sky. He thought it must of be a hallucination until he saw the same fear on the face of every other x-men. He didn't want to believe it, so he stared hard at the pyrotechnics happening in the sky, when it all vanished. Disappeared with out a whisper of smoke or flame.

The x-men thought it must have been a nasty trick from someone in the Brotherhood. So they dolefully headed back to the mansion. The trip was slow, and extremely quiet, not even Bobby was talking. The cars just rolled off the cliff at first, until their drivers woke up enough to drive.

The mansion had no classes for the day, so the x-men traipsed their way inside. They had had enough for the day, so they walked in, and closed the doors without a second thought. Had they known that an old friend was lost in the woods surrounding the mansion they may have tried to help, but as none of them knew that they all turned their backs to the outside world.

Jean Grey was wandering aimlessly through the woods surrounding the mansion. She felt like she was holding onto dynamite she knew what it was, what it felt like in her hands, the smell of it before it exploded, and yet she had no idea what she was using it for.

They sky speckled the ground with drops of sunlight. Jean enjoyed the feeling of everything natural, they musty feel to the woods, like there was too much moister in the air and the trees were suffocating on it. She liked the way the decaying leaves felt under her feet, while the animals dart around her presence, weary of the discretion.

She felt their need to abandon their former behaviour, they loathe the fact that we can control them with fear. Her path was not becoming any easier, the woods were becoming rougher the, trees were actually further apart for many had been struck down. She had no idea why. The trees hadn't fallen naturally, they had been struck down by something man-made. She could feel the animals apprehension to this vicinity, they knew that whatever had caused this damage was coming back for more. She continued prudently for the woods were becoming treacherous, her mind was on high alert for any movement. She observed that the thing that had cut these trees had three claws she reached out with her hand to traced the puncture, her mind lurched to a flashback, Logan was running through these trees, Jean could feel his anger, his distraught emotions. He cut down tree after tree in fury.

Her mind come back to the present quivering, she had felt, Logan's anger flow through her own veins.

Jean suddenly remember why she was acutely responsive to her surroundings when a stir of trees rustled violently. Through the broken leafs Jena saw the flash of a black BMW (the Professor should always move in style). Jean sprinted towards the road, she broke though the bushes just a little to late. She ran down the road, her life was on the line as well as her faith. She raced along the downward slope, she was loosing her footing for the road was icy. Jean fell, her feet slip from under her body and her entire body fell after them. The car moved from her far-off view. She collapses in the middle of the road, her mind was worn out by this torment. She wasn't sure wether this was another mind game from Phoenix or not, but either way she wanted to find out where that car was going. She felt like it had something to do with her. She picked herself up of the filthy road, and ran she flinged herself down the street. She was willing to take a risk, and this was it. She me the bend in the road, and greeted it as she passed. She felt like a bird had picked up her remains and had fixed her with an extra emotion. A kind of hope that can only die when you die. She found a familiar spectacle coming into her view, the mansion was growing bigger in her vision, and the hope grew bigger in her heart.

She ran with all the strength that she had left, her heart was pounding 10 times a second, her mind was reeling with ideas of how they might react to her returning.

She finally reached the front door, she noticed the unusual silence behind the doors. She stood at the door, waiting for someone to answer, surely someone saw her running down the street, the Professor should of felt her presence coming nearer. Jean couldn't understand the isolation she had been cast into by her friends. She rapped the door profoundly, and waited silently for a response.

The door cracked open and Jean saw the face of a teenager. This young teen was frightened by the rapturous woman before her.

"I'm here to talk to the Professor," Jean explained. The startled child let a small scream escape, before she scurried down the hall. Jean stood at the entrance in amazement, never had she been greeted so profoundly, she was weighing the choices of walking straight into the mansion or wait for someone else to find her at the door.

The chances of being found at the door were low, so Jean walk openly into the hall of the mansion. Again Jean noticed the unwelcome feel the mansion had created in her absence. She meandered though the long corridors. Until she found Logan relaxing in the sun room, he looked like a large wolf that was absorbing the suns rays for warmth. She entered the room silently, and sauntered gradually into his view.

Logan jumped a the sight of her, she jumped a little too, for Logan had released his deadly adamantinum claws. Jean stood there transfixed in confusion, while Logan approached.

**A/N: **Now I know I've yelled at you for not reviewing but I need your votes cause I've started a new pole.

1. Should Jean hook up with any one and if so who?

a. Scott

b. Logan

c. Another character (If you vote for this say who)

d. No one

2. do you want angst of fighting

a. angst

b. fighting

Thanks and if you could review it would help. And I really need reviews, it helps keep me on track.

Bye


	9. My Insecurities

Chapter 8 

The sun shone through the floor to roof windows oblivious to the tension that rang through the room, Logan raised his claws to Jean's neck, his breathing was heavy and in an animal like way he bared his teeth.

"What are you doing here bitch? Logan growled. Logan saw the look of hurt and confusion cross Jean's face before he was hurled the full length of the room. He collapsed in a heap on the floor, he was still out cold when Jean ran out of the room.

Jean ran confused, through corridor after corridor, she had no idea where she was going, she was just trying to run away from Logan words.

They had hurt her deeply, they were harsh, even for him, to say to her after she'd just come back form the dead. Jean hadn't expected song and dance at her arrival, but she hadn't expected to be insulted either.

In the end she found herself on a balcony leaning on the guard for her entire support, her knees buckled and she fell to the floor, she turned herself over so she could sit down. She had no will to stand and walk back inside to the mayhem that stood just behind the door. She just sat there and stared at her hands.

She could feel her power glow around her, lick at the very surface of her clothes like flames. The very feeling comforted Jean, it was the only thing she could rely on, herself.

"Jean?" a soft voiced called from the doorway it was Storm.

This fair minded woman stood there in amazement, her oldest friend laid before her like a rag doll. Storm took a couple of steps forward and grabbed Jean's hands and pulled the perturbed woman onto her feet.

Jean slumped against Storm, her eyes cast a quick glimpse at storm before returning to the ground.

Storm took Jean's arm and flung it across her shoulders, she took most of Jean's weight, which she noticed wasn't much, and they walked inside and all the way down to the infirmary. Once there Storm placed jean on one of the beds. Jean seemed to caught up in her own thoughts to actually go anywhere so storm left her to go and find the Professor.

She found him in his study, looking through some old photo albums, she knocked on the door softly before entering. She walked around his wheelchair to face him, she knelt before him and whispers a soft request.

"There is someone downstairs I believe you should meet," Storm didn't explain anymore, she stood up and led the way down the hallway.

When they arrived at the infirmary Jean was sitting up and having telekinetic sword fights with needles.

She stopped her needle tournament when the Professor came into the room, she turned to look at him, but he wouldn't come no nearer than the doorway.

"Hello Jean, or should I say Phoenix. It's an odd surprise to see you soon,'

"I'm not the Phoenix, I'm just plain old Jean," she stated with unexpected disappointment in her voice.

"Then what's happened to the Phoenix?" the Professor inquired.

Jean was struck with uncertainty, she gazed away from his disconcerting eyes.

"I don't know," Jean replied, she looked up at the Professor innocently, she racked her brain for any explanation to the Phoenix's whereabouts, but none came.

------------

The same sun shone down on the inhabitants of central park. The residents moved around underneath the canopy of leaves, they run in different directions, worrying about their own problems without a second thought about the old woman that was sitting on the park bench across from the playground. She stared at the young children running across the play equipment, she had always wanted to be excepted into humanity, but for what she was humanity wouldn't even acknowledge her presence.

A new essence fell across the immediate vicinity when a young woman clad in red walked across the playground and sat on the park next to the old woman.

Then old woman turned to this new face, she treated this woman with care, for she did not know wether she could be trusted.

"I wondered wether you'd get your powers back or not," the young woman asked turning to the older woman.

"I feel that they owed it to me, not that they gave it to me at all. I don't take betrayal lightly Phoenix, I have rejoined the Brotherhood, yes. I'm not sure wether I will comply with all of Erik's plans though,"

Phoenix looked to the old oak tree to their right, it was twisted and had a air of an old magic to it, it almost looked alive, other than the fact it wasn't moving as the saw's blades grew closer to it's trunk.

"I wish to see him again, Mystique," Phoenix requested.

'I believe I can convince him to meet with you," Mystique replied, she stood up and hobbled away.

Phoenix just sat there watching the old oak tree's demise, she thought that humans would deal with the mutant problem like that, like they had in the past. They would just try to kill them all and then decide which ones where actually dangerous and which ones just had a stronger sense of smell.

She could feel a pain in her chest, it felt like she was trying to breathe through a harsh sponge, she coughed.

Her head had a fever and she was beginning to feel ill.

A/N: This was the hardest chapter to write, I couldn't keep a good idea rolling long enough to write about it and there were too many ways to stuff it up. I'm not trying to be mean to Logan, but that's the way I'd thought he would react. 

The reason why the Professor is doubtful and a little bit blunt in this chapter is because we see a different side to him in X3. I don't mind it, but I thought I would play with that side of him.

By the way, I bought a X3 magazine and they say that Jean Grey's greatest weakness is her emotional instability, I think that's stupid, but I also like it.

I hope you like this chapter, but if you don't just tell me and I might even rewrite the chapter.


	10. My Trepidation

**A/N:** I'm sooo sorry for the wait, I know this chapter is short but it's all that I can give you at the moment, cause I have writers block and My word on my laptop doesn't work, so it's hard to write anything anyway. So please review, you can be mad at me if you like.

The sterile blue of the room kept Scott awake as a watched his soulmate's chest rise and fall in time with the nearby machines. He had waited many lonely hours for her to wake.

To him her body was in perfect condition, her muscles were fit and her heart was strong, yet her mind seemed out of balance with this seamless notion. Her mind seemed weak, it was overcome with surplus tasks and power, fuelling an irreversible evil inside her mind and body, which Scott could barely visualize.

Jean's peaceful slumber was disrupted by violent shakes that evolved into a seizure. Her body was convulsing to it's own unfamiliar rhythm. Yet she still didn't wake. Scott ran over to her side and pressed an emergency button on the bed. He tried to hold her down, to stop her from harming herself while he waited for Hank to arrive.

Jean's convulsions only became worse as time continued, when suddenly her eyes opened and she screamed a shrill, painful cry. She sat up stunned, she was gasping for breath and Scott could almost hear Jean's heart.

Scott comforted Jean as mush as he could, She calmed down after a minute or two. She twisted her body to face Scott, her perception was dazed, her eyes glassy, her expression unreadable.

"Scott, I know the Phoenix is alive. She's in pain like me, I've never felt pain like that before, and it still resides in my body like a splinter," she muttered incoherently.


	11. My Uncertainties

A/N: I'm sorry, I kinda gave up on it for a while. But I had a lot of ideas lately and I feel like writing again. Please review, you can even yell at me if you want. I don't care, I just want feedback.

Chapter 11 

Hank had looked Jean over and she seemed to be fine for the moment. Scott had found the professor and had brought him downstairs.

After Jean had calmed down she followed the professor up to his office. She sat on the leather couch that was perpendicular to the professor's desk.

"Are you feeling alright now?" the Professor questioned, reaching out to her knee.

Jean nodded slowly.

"Jean, I must ask wether you've had any blackouts or sudden urges lately?" the Professor asked as he wheeled himself behind his desk.

"Actually, I have had a couple of random emotions lately, but no blackouts," Jean replied.

"That's a good sign," the Professor muttered quietly.

"I'm going to have a look in your mind, if you don't object?" the Professor asked.

Jean nodded again this time a little more enthusiastically.

"Ok, just try to relax,"

"I have done this before, Professor," Jean stated.

The Professor closed his eyes and reached out with his mind. Jean put down her barriers to allow the Professor in.

It took a couple of minutes before either of them moved again.

"Well, I have some good news," the Professor stated.

Jean looked up perplexed.

"The Phoenix no longer resides in your brain,"

All the X-Men and Marie were gathered in the Professor's office.

"The Phoenix has created a body of its own, but it's still in the image of Jean. A concerning matter id the fact that Jean and the Phoenix share a very intimate connection," the Professor explained.

"Isn't surprising really, considering your both telepaths, and you used to share a brain," commented Bobby.

"That's true, but we can use this to advantage. I'm only asking, Jean, but I would like you to find out what has happened to the Phoenix, by using this abnormal link,"

Jean was stunned, she thought for a while and then began to nod slightly.

"I'm glad you have agreed,"

The night had covered the mansion quietly, the silence encroached every corner. In one a conscious was aware, the vessel of the Psyche rose, and work itself downstairs towards the kitchen.

Jean's mind was wandering through her doubts in this plan.

She meandered her way to the kitchen and was amazed to find another being there.

"You seriously never sleep, do you?" Jean questioned as she grabbed a soda and sat at the island bench.

"Well, I never really slept much to begin with, and now that I live at a school….," Logan replied.

"But what brings you down here, unaccompanied?" he questioned; his intentions clear to Jean.

"Scott and I are having a break, Logan, I'm in my old room at the moment," she replied firmly.

Logan huffed, Jean just stared at him as if she was berating him.

"Besides, why are you up at this hour?" he asked trying to change the topic.

"I can't sleep, I'm afraid of what I might see of the Phoenix," Jean replied, fiddling with the top of her soda bottle.

"Don't worry red, the Phoenix can't get you here," Logan stated.

"I'm not afraid of my safety, its more the fact that she is a part of me, and that she doesn't care about hurting other people," Jean mentioned becoming more emotional.

"She's not you, she will never be you, unless you allow her to," Logan reminded her.

Jean smiled and lifted her head "Wow, look who's become philosophical,"

Logan chuckled and Jean's smile became wider and the smart remark.

------------

The people hurried to and fro, through their camps and into others as the tall women dressed in red walked her way through the tents. She was accompanied by Mystique, who seemed determined to ignore the scurrying mutants. The head of this immense group, was standing upon the rocky ledge that looked over the site.

"I hardly believed you would come back here, Magneto, when you have almost been found out here before," Phoenix commented, as she worked her way up to Magneto's little gang.

"I've got more security now," Magneto stated.

"Well then, I want a deal," Phoenix firmly stated.

"Then what do you have to offer?" Magneto questioned.

"Besides my powers, information Charles and his little friends," Phoenix offered.

"I've already learned you can be irrational Phoenix, are you sure you wont make that mistake again?"

"I have learned from my mistakes, like any human would," Phoenix declared.

"Very well then, your on,"

A/N: I'm not sure where I'm going yet but I'll come up with it.


End file.
